Because all baking should be the product of empirical data and not tossing ingredients into recipes that look similar to the ingredients of which you ran out, real bakers would probably call the police if you tried this in their kitchens:
CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCOOKIES
CREAM (for way too long because you put the blender on and walked out of the room to do something else)
*Two sticks salted butter (who wants to deal with the one stick of shortening the recipe required? Not me.)
* One cup granulated sugar (no brown sugar in the house that wasn't in brick form).
ADD
* Two eggs (one just looks insufficient)
* Some vanilla (It smells good, so add more than two measly teaspoons)
* Some salt (probably should go in the flour mixture, but it all goes in the same place, right?
GRADUALLY (by the teaspoon) ADD
*1 1/2 cups of all purpose flour and 1/2 cup of add-only-water pancake mix (because ... well, they're both powdery)
THEN JUST TOSS IN (not bothering to stir)
* an entire bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips (because whomever thought two cups is enough is just plain mean).
SPOON onto a parchment-lined baking sheet (because who needs another pan to clean) and bake in a 350 degree oven until the edges are golden brown. (Try not to be alarmed when the blobs of batter look like melting ice cream in the oven).
Makes about four dozen cookies (half of which will be either raw in the center or burned) that you will probably need to eat with a fork.
or better yet.
Just eat the batter and pretend it's a dessert mousse.
2 comments:
Your first sentence is either blasphemy or sarcasm, so I'm going to have to hope it's sarcasm. To me, recipes are pretty much guidelines . . . they give me the basic flour/sugar/baking powder or soda ratio, and then everything else is substitutable depending on what I have lying around.
But more importantly, this is one of the blessings . . . when I was un- or under-employed, I was the god of the bake sale. I had always baked, but I also learned to cook. I used to love it when my older one would come in the door, inhale the kitchen, and squeal in delight, "You made me mac & cheese!"
Not that I'm ever going to follow recipes, but I was always told "not to F with baking" otherwise I'd get soup when I wanted cookies (which in my case is probably true because I also mess with the ratios). My problem is always in consistency. I can make it once ...
But you are right. The kids squealing about homemade something-or-other is worth every single failure.
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