It's rare that anything ever turns out the way you think it will.
When you come to think of it, how often did whatever you planned for your life ever come to to pass?
If I had followed the roadmap I drew way back when, I'd be single, living on the west coast and doing something so fabulous with my life that the light from fabulous would take 18 million years to get to the place I am right now, which is still pretty darn good.
And yet, somehow, having a boy seems about as foriegn to me as having kittens.
Don't misunderstand, I'm excited at the thought of having a boy, it's just that I haven't ever lived in a house with boys (beside the occasional pre-pubescent behavior exhibited by my husband from time to time). I really don't know what to expect.
So I would really appreciate some thoughts from the internets. I know you have 'em. Tell me all about your boys and about their relationships with their sisters. Tell me about your own brothers and sisters. Tell me what surprised you and what made you glad it turned out as it did.
Go ahead, tell mama.
16 comments:
Having a boy is fun. I think in the early years, there aren't a ton of differences other than the lack of cute dresses. Boys can be moody or not - it all depends on their personality. We didn't hit full on moodiness and issues that were foreign to me (an only child) until my son was about 11. Now at 14, things are settling down somewhat, but 13? 13 was HELL. I think that is the case with any teen though.
You'll be fine. It will be just as scary as it was the first time around, and you survived that. This time, you will probably have a nice helper who sometimes gets really annoyed that she has to share you with her brother.
i won't tease you with stories of building forts or racing bikes. all of this is nice and great for sentimental value.
the real joy in a mother's relationship with her son is best captured by freud. u will represent to him all that is woman. he will seek out his mate to meet your role model. you will be his female god.
your daughter, on the other hand, will most likely find you infailable and strive to supercede your traits.
I'm the only girl in my family, and have 2 brothers. 1 older, 1 younger. I LOVE having brothers. Growing up, yeah, they did the normal stuff ... beating me up (although, not too bad because I would sick my dad on 'em), etc. But, once high school rolled around, they were super duper protective. And great. Now, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
My daughter is 7, and my son is almost 2. I love having 1 of each, although I'll admit that I felt a lot of what you're feeling when I was pregnant with my boy. I didn't have a clue what to "do" with a boy. I mean, I'm a girl, and I had a daughter, and now a boy? What the hell was I going to do with one? But, honestly, I LOVE having 1 of each. And now that I'm pregnant again, I do secretly hope for another boy. So, although it seems very foreign right now, you'll look back and wonder why you ever felt that way. Congrats!
We're a one of esch family, and as an only child myself, a boy was like an alien species (like you, our daughter is older/came first whatever.)
Having one of each is a miracle. Of course, we got a girly-girl who adores pink, purple and all things frilly (though, she also loves science and experiments and mess). Our son never thinks twice, has no fear, and plunges headlong into anything he wants. He also discovered Spiderman by himself at 18 months, and hasn't looked back since.
And even with all the differences, he wants to please his older sister so much, he also claims purple as a favorite color (of course, it's mine too), and will play princess games.
They couldn't be more different. But it's like sharing my home with yin and yang together. I couldn't imagine anything better.
Having a son is really a special kind of joy (though it's all I know - no daughters). He will relate to you in a different way. And sometimes I think there is ... less of a pressure to "fix" with a boy. I don't worry about passing on some of my issues to him. And I have the chance to raise a good man, which I think is powerful.
And, growing up with two younger brothers (as well as three younger sisters) -- boys teach you things. I know so much about comic books and camping and Star Wars and climbing trees, thanks to my brothers.
It might be unexpected, but indubitably you'll be a wonderful mother to a boy, and annabel will love having a brother. (she might not warm up to him as quickly though!)
Gabe is not quite three (I'm holding onto every last vestige of two until tomorrow when I HAVE to call him a three year old) so I don't have as much experience as some of the other commenters simply because I have one sister and only a few years dealing with a boy.
I can tell you that boys are daring. In the toddler years especially, when they are learning their bodies' capabilities, they are fearless and you'll have your heart in your throat more than you'd like. They don't have a problem jumping off things that are too high for them to jump from (fourth from the bottom stair step; high benches or low retaining walls; beds.) They will stick their hands in anything just to see how it feels. They will be rough with pets because they are full of manic energy. They will run, wipe out, and get up to run again, sometimes wiping out again.
But when they do get hurt, they run to you without shame. They hug harder because they are manic with energy, and they will be fierce in their attachment to you. Wrestling on the floor with Daddy is fun, but sometimes, they just want to be cuddled. Which I'd imagine is like little girls. But boys aren't as content to sit on the floor in one spot and entertain themselves as girls seem to be (based off of my friends' girl children). They are yellers, runners, ball players more than they are readers, TV watchers, or coloring book artists. They are not as sedentary as girls can be.
As for physical differences, here are a few: he will be much harder on his own pipper than you will be, so while gentle is good, you won't break or hurt him by scrubbing in the tub or wiping vigorously from dirty diapers. He will get a little stiffy when he has to go to the bathroom, so if you see one, slap a diaper over it before you get a golden shower. Cleaning dirty diapers, you have to make sure you lift to get behind his twig and berries. You might also want to make sure he's pointing down when you put fresh diapers on him, because they can leak out the top if they shoot it just right.
Now that I've completely written a blog post in your comments, I'll stop. But if you have questions after Thing 2 gets here, you can always email me without embarrassment. I am lucky that I have a sister-in-law who had two boys before I had mine, so I asked her all my embarrassing questions. It's nice to have that person who won't laugh no matter how silly you think the question is. And I'm happy to help.
I have 2 girls and 1 boy (all pretty much grown). The girls were more independent and mouthier than my son. He was a momma's boy growing up and wanted to be around me all the time. My girls went off to preschool and never looked back to say goodbye, but he did and he wanted to know I'd be there to pick him back up whereas the girls never worried about that. My girls love their brother. He was and still is an instigator of trouble though. We can all be peaceful in the house then he comes along and causes uproars in a matter of minutes. You will cherish him.
Congrats on a son!
Max is a 100% boy, although perhaps a bit more social than the stereotypical guy. He was later at talking and potty training than most of his girl friends, but I've met many boys who are plenty early. Physically, seems a bit more daring and coordinated than his girl friends, too. There aren't any hard and fast rules, are there? Each is his/her own person.
Max's continuous obsession with trucks really surprises the heck out of me, though.
Sounds like you got the scoopage on the twig and berries. We're Jewish and I had Rich handle all the changes the week after he was circ'd.
I've heard that in families that have one of each, that the mother typically sympathizes with the son and the father with the daughter.
I had a brother 4 years younger than me. He had a totally different constitution than me. Me: wiry, fast, impatient. Him: nice, easy, and could really save money (I was always broke). Anyway, as a kid, I was totally frustrated by the differences. Now I cherish them. And him.
Oh, and I dressed him up as a girl. I really wanted a lil' sis, and my parents refused to trade him in. Dressing him up seemed to help me work it out.
I can't wait to meet your little guy!
congratulations !!
I have 1 boy my first born & 3 girls. They all get along and the son is very protective of his sisters.He loves to help them & play with them.
They are diffrent.the are messy ( especially on the potty) they are rough, they say funny boy things .
but they are really GREAT !
I have 1 brother whom i am very close to. He has taught me so much. He like my son is 1 boy with three sisters. Growing up i was closet to my brother...of course we faught and he did really boy things like take a whole brick of cheese and box of crackers to his room & eating them all....but i loved / love his to pieces !!
You are going to have so much fun !! think blue girlie :)
Jil
Boys are magical. They love you fiercely when you don't expect it. They need you more than you'll ever know.
Mommy of a exquisitely loved boy.
Hi there! I had meant to stop by earlier and congratulate you and your family on the wonderful news, but we've been feeling just a wee bit under the weather for the past few days.
Anyway, I believe boys come in two types. You either have those boys who are very mellow and eager to please or those who epitomize what we think of when someone says, "He's all boy." Guess which one I have?! Hannah and Jacob are 27 months apart, so in the beginning it was REALLY rough. Jacob had a lot of "issues" as an infant, and now, at age five, we are in the process of having him formally evaluated by a pediatric behaviorist. But through ALL the difficult moments, I have loved him so fiercely that it often hurts. He LOVES both his sisters - idolizes them. They DO have their moments, mind you, and I often want to rip my hair outwhen they are all bickering and hitting! Going from one kid to two was extremely difficult for us, but a wonderful experience all the same. Those unsolicited "I Love You's" are THE best, the hugs and kisses, the proclamations that he will one day marry me - so sweet. You will have SO much fun with your son, and you all will cherish him :-)
hey,
u dont know me but i often check ur flickr account..anyway...i'm 27, my bro is 25. i have adored him all my life, ever since i can remember. mind u, i have a 28 year old sister as well, and we are not that close, i get along better with my brother. despite the small age gap, i've always felt hes more like a son than a brother to me. i didnt choose him as a friend, thats true, but im sure i could have never chosen so well!!!!
I grew up with two brothers, one 12.5 months older and one less than 3 years younger, so I don't know what it's like to have a sister. I have a half-sister I never grew up with and met once.
My 6-year old nephew is the only boy with four sisters, and he's the boldest and the loudest of the bunch -- all of whom are age 7 and under. I found out last weekend that he has a favourite sister: Maribeth, the smaller twin (nearly 3 years old). He's very protective of her, and holds her hand when they go out. It's very heartwarming to see them together.
I forgot to mention that when I was living in Vancouver and saw the kidlets every week, my "favourite" baby to take out was the boy. A constant source of amusement, that kid. Now, he is just SO LOUD I am forever telling him to keep it down.
s, you've prolly heard me say this before, but my brother is pretty much one of my fave people in the world. second only to ella, maybe. anyway, boys are different, but wonderful different. they're noisy.
that being said, i'd be boggled at the thought of having a son too. what the hell? i can't imagine a boy coming out of me. ha. but then, he'll arrive and bam. he'll just be a little person. a boy person.
Boy's are great! You can ruff house with them more! ; ) Boy's also always love their mommies! ; )
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