Friday, January 19, 2007

Pieces of the puzzle

I've always hated it when people tell you that there's something ominous brewing behind the scenes. They dance around the meat of the matter, but never elaborate on the specifics.

And so it is with amazing shame that I will tell you, my imaginary friends, that there are BIG things going on over here at Ittybits & Pieces; big things that are making me fall to pieces.

But I can't tell you what just now. I am sorry.

I can tell you that as far as I know, Thing 2, is right as rain and I'm even feeling the faint signs of a new life stretching around. I can tell you that I have another obstetrics appointment Tuesday, and perhaps then will know even more intimate details about the baby on board. I can tell you that everyone here is well and trying to keep warm since winter seems to have arrived finally.

But the big thing I can't say is potentially life changing; and I don't handle life changes well. It is something I have to think about before I make any real decisions but it is something I have to make note of here since I will be thinking of little else until I can sort it all out; if I can sort it all out.

I will have to discuss it here at some point during the next several months to the dismay of some, and I imagine my telling will be at length. This is how I make sense of it all; if at all. So it will have to come to pass. Just not now.

For now, I have to calm down, catch my breath and stop crying and wishing I'd done everything differently.

For now.


BlogWhore said...

oh geeze, i hate secrets. i will lay awake all night thinking about what could possibly be wrong.

there are the three Ds: death, divorce, downsize. i hope your problems are more in the T department, like termites, or the M department, like mold. but not the Ds, no, not the Ds.

Julie K in Taiwan said...

Well, here's a big imaginary hug from an imaginary friend in Taiwan.

Melissa R. Garrett said...

:-( Oh gosh ... I'll be thinking about you and hoping beyond hope that you will sort things out.

ps - we've all had sililar moments of crying and wishing we had done things differently. I'm not saying that to undermine how you are feeling, but more or less to let you know you are not alone. Hang in there.

kimmyk said...

Are we talking twins?
Twins will make ya cry-or so my momma said. [apprently we made her cry alot]

Whatever is happening-I hope its nothing health wise bad, but if it's "I don't know if I can handle this" bad...I believe you can and will.
You'll find the strength you need to get through this...

I hope you're all healthy...keep you chin up.

Kaela said...

I read yesterday this woman felt like she was stuck on the bottom part of a roller coaster and didn't have enough momentum to make it back up. Life is good and bad, up and down and thats how it's supposed to be. What kind of character would we build if things were always easy? Here's to you finding some momentum to make it back to the "top".

Firestarter5 said...

Here's hoping your big decision is whether you should colour your hair blonde....

Andrea said...

Well, it sounds pretty major, but I'll be hoping it turns out to be better than you're fearing right now.

And thank you for clarifying that your big news does not include something dire to the baby.

And hey, it's your blog, so you write at whatever length on whatever subject you feel comfortable.

Xdm said...

Doh!(Will you email me and tell me if I promise not to tell anyone else not even if they offer me big bucks? :-)

XO Thinking of you.