Sunday, December 14, 2014

Snow day


He could not contain himself.

I couldn't contain him, either.

She knew I didn't want to go out in the cold and the wet.

She didn't want to go out there either.

But something in my face ... 

She's called it The Look of Disappointment ...

Made her haul on her dayglow coat and too-small boots and pretend to care about snowmen of the smallest stature.


Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

Hat Trick

I think I have finally reached a parenting trifecta.


Some things are just important ...


For instance, not risking "love" by crossing it out ... (Stepping on cracks, though ... that's cool.)

*****

Getting them to fall asleep can seem like an art form ...


But really it's just the material of nightmares.

*****


Best of all is what your daughter will learn from watching all 208 episodes of "How I Met Your Mother" ...

c

"Hey mom! Come look at the strip club I built in Minecraft. I call it 'Barney's'."

Friday, July 04, 2014

How we roll



...  or, more accurately, how we would have rolled if the People's Parade wasn't rained out.

Monday, June 30, 2014

Isn't everyone?

"My sister thinks she's black toast intolerant."



"I don't think there's any black toast in this milk, though."

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Talk to the hand (puppet)



Doorjam puppet theater ....

It's pretty easy. 

You just make two curtains: one with a 14 X 17 window opening, and a smaller curtain that fits under the first curtain.  

Get yourself two tension curtain rods ... (one will support the lower edge of the window opening).
One yard of fabric ...
One fat quarter (for interior curtain) ....
One yard of bias tape ...
Felt or fleece scraps for the opening border ...
And matching thread.






Sunday, June 15, 2014

On Father's Day the shoe is on the other foot

If the kids want him to do anything for them today, they have to put on his socks and shoes.

Otherwise, he claims, he won't leave the house.

How did this come to pass, you wonder?



"How many times have I put on your shoes and socks?"

"I mean ... you take them off and want them back on about six times a day. ... If you calculate those six times a day by seven years ... well, let's just say that's a lot of stinky feet."

"Oh ... and one more thing ... If it rains, you are going to have to carry me."


Thursday, June 05, 2014

teeeeze



So ... the birthday planning has begun.

And according to the party planner, it's going to be just like Annabel's 

"only without the girl parts."



Sunday, June 01, 2014

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Gainful employment



His coach recognized that this kid needs a job.

Otherwise he's all flibberty gibbets or just flopsy mopsy in the outfield.

Honestly, I can relate.


Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Pool is open ...



Which means *someone* will be starting fires with pool water.

*Someone* will be putting them out with pool water.

And their mother will be losing the perennial battle with weeds ... and pool water.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Boston Strong ...



On April 16, 2013 -- one day after the Boston Marathon bombings -- I bought my first pair of running shoes.

I don't know what I was thinking, but what was going through my mind was a bit confusing.

I had planned to join my kids in a running clinic offered by a local running club, but I wasn't looking forward to it. I joked that someone would have to chase me if I was ever expected to run.

Har-dee-har-har. Imsooooofunneeeeeee.

But the green and gray shoes, still in their box in the back of my car, turned out to be an investment rather than an expense.

And in the eight (injury-filled) months that followed they went with me for more than 300 miles.

I didn't hate it anywhere near as much as I thought I would.

In fact, I loved the road and the routes. I have loved running with friends and family. I have even come to accept the wisdom of every pulled muscle as if it were a revered teacher.

I have so much to learn.

It was with this in mind that I followed Boston Marathon World Race, and signed up to run 26.2 miles in honor of the 2014 marathon. "Any Ability, Any Distance, Anywhere" was the theme.

It took me nearly six hours in six days (over two weeks' time) to run the distance.

Just putting one foot in front of the other.


Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Second fool, once removed

"I think there's been some foolishness in the refrigerator. ... Go check for me, ok."



Boy opens refrigerator and runs from room crying.

"How could you think that was funny?" he screams accusingly.

He is in tears. Barely making sense. Something about food trying to eat him in a nightmare ...

"I'm sorry, buddy. I thought you would think that was a funny prank."

He looks up, smiling like a maniac through a tear stained face.

"April fools!"

"What? Really? But. ... those are real tears!"

"I know. I know. I punched myself in the face!"


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Mouths of babes







"Mom! I just flossed. There are no more calories on my teeth."

Monday, March 17, 2014

Joy is ...



107 birthdays ...

Cousins ...

And a bed for bouncing ...

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Power struggle



Don't worry. The dog won.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Of course I asked ...




"Where's the milk crate strapped to the handlebar, and the alien wrapped in a blanket? "

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Olympic dreams

They did it!

They took the GOLD MEDAL!




Our own Three-Beanie-Boo bobsled team!

Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Snow Day

The morning commute was a little different today.


Roads waited for plows. Sidewalks waited for shovels. 


Girls waited for nothing.

A little daring. 

A little danger. 

A lot of joy.


This is winter ...


In all its magnificence. 

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Pelfies



Oh ... Hi, Hooooman! You're back ...

I thought you'd gone away ... Forever.

I was worried. You know ... because I don't really know how to get food out of all these storage contraptions.

It was a relief that you hadn't eaten all of your lunch when you left before.

Don't worry about that cottage cheese ...

I totally cleaned that up.

No need to thank me.

But you're welcome.




Dogs.

So selfish.

feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme feedmefeedmefeedme.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

On the menu this evening we have starters, non-starters and apps


There we were, sitting across a square table from one another.

A platter of fun food in between us.


The whole family. In a restaurant. Having a nice time.


As is usual for us, a round-robin of non-sequitur arguments changes the course of conversation as if we were speaking in pinball.


I could tell you how we got on the subject of gun control, but it would take too long, and the bells and lights from the silver ball's awkward trajectory would be maddeningly distracting.


Let's just say Jed sprung the ball into the maze, it dinged off Silas, lit up Annabel and got stuck under my flipper, tilting the whole entire game.


Here's the gist:

"Every state should have a Department of Firearms (just like the Department of Motor Vehicles) that licenses gun owners and registers guns by class. Initial licenses would be awarded after successful completion of written, field and background tests, and renewal would require inspection (periodic background checks).  Furthermore, gun owners would be required to carry liability insurance for each firearm in their possession. Let the risk pools float where they may." 
In other words: Let's just put our cards on the actuarial table.
"Sure, you can have that AR-15, but if you are under 25 or have teenagers at home, it is going to put you in a higher risk pool. Accident or not, you will be liable for damages."
Crickets.

The conversation I thought we were having disappeared. I was left alone with my thoughts as my husband furiously typed away on his cell phone and the kids tried to guess when our meals would arrive at the table.


"You know ... I hardly ever speak to other human beings during the day ... the least you could do is humor me at dinner."


He smiled and handed me his phone:

"Thank you for contacting the White House ... "
"I told them 'My wife has a brilliant idea. ...' Betcha didn't know there's an app for that."

Sunday, January 05, 2014

What does Fantastic Mr. Fox say?


"Maybe a few of you might even read my column from time to time, who knows. I tend to doubt it."