There's still time to make HORRIBLE gifts ... usually around 1 a.m.

You know what happens when a person like me can't sleep?

They come up with really horrifying sewing projects that will undoubtedly (and unfortunately) wind up as a school grab bag present.

So ...

Thanks to insomnia, some poor kid will have to deal with ...

THE SNIFFLE PILLOW & BLANKETCHIEF SET

Essentially, it's a pocket tissue pack cover and a double-sided doll action figure blanket made with flannel scraps.

To make the pillow cover:

*Cut two pieces of fabric, the exterior side is 5 1/2 inches by 6 1/2 inches and the lining will be 5 1/2 by 7 1/2 inches.

*Sandwich the fabrics right sides facing each other, ends meeting. Sew first side.

*Adjust the opposite ends so they meet. Sew second side.

*Turn right sides out and press flat so that the lining leaves a 1/4 inch of border on either side.

*Turn lining side out, fold so that borders meet. Sew raw ends closed.

Turn right side out. Stuff with pocket pack.

To make the blanketchief:

*Cut two pieces of fabric the same size. (I used 8 x10)

*Sandwich right sides together.

*Sew around all four sides, leaving a three-inch gap to turn blanket right side out.

*Close end and sew 1/4 border all the way around the blanket to finish.



I'm fairly certain there is a reason this toy has never been invented before.

Smart adults usually discourage children from playing with phlegm.

Good girl

 

 

 

If a leaf falls in the parking lot will anyone hear it?

Maybe, if it's attached to your keys.



This was a quick and easy project.

First I found an old key fob and cannibalized the ring mechanism.

Then I found some earth-toned scraps of felt and cut them in a manner that resembles no leaf found in nature. I also cut a long, rectangular strip of felt, folded it in half length-wise and sewed it along the length with a zig-sag stitch.

Next I threaded the keyring with the "petiole," folded the fabric and inserted the ends in between the two sides of "leaf" at the top. Then I sewed it all together at the point of the axil and continued sewing along the outer edges of the leaf.

I then attempted to sew veins on the interior of the leaf.

I got as far as the mid rib and gave up.

Next time I might use this as a reference.

Or maybe I'll just bring a leaf inside.

Activity Books ... not as oxymoronic as the name would imply

Oh ... you know we love books. Which is what makes it possible for me to scoff at a recent bit of fluff in the Gray Lady that simultaneously tries to sound the death knell of picture books while blaming parents for their murder.

It's true though, we sometimes borrow steal buy books that inspire us to do other things ... such as draw our own picture books.

For instance, Seven Footer Press (disclosure! I have a dear friend there) has a bunch of wonderful activity books in its collection that allow kids (of all ages) to use their imagination and fill in the blanks. Our favorite is "100 Shapes," a book of stencils by Nao Sugimoto, the pages of which can be cut out, put on a key ring and used over and over again on any number of important art works.




Judith Cressy's "What Can You Do With A Paper Bag" has been a favorite of ours since we picked it up at a library book sale a few years ago. The activity book takes its inspiration from the Metropolitan Museum of Art's collection and provides step-by-step instructions on making hats, headdresses and wigs out of paper bags.




And though it's not an activity book per say, Robert Sabuda's latest pop-up sculpture wonder, "Beauty and the Beast," has both kids foaming at the mouth to make their own three-dimensional storybooks. Which leads me to think maybe Santa will leave one or two of these little books under the tree.

Another book we are fond of is the homemade sketchbook.



This thing was born one night shortly before bedtime when it became painfully obvious (by the eardrum-piercing shrieks) that there was a notebook inequity among sprogs. Namely, Ittybit had many and The Champ had none.

In fewer than five minutes with my sewing machine I was able to manufacture a book and a happier bedtime.

THINGS YOUR NEED

* Two 8.5" x 11" sheets of craft or wool felt
* One 8.5" x 11" sheet of web interfacing
* 8 or 10 sheets of letter-sized paper
* Thread

THINGS YOU DON'T NEED ...
BUT WILL MAKE LIFE SO MUCH NICER

* A sewing machine
* Some felt scraps for embellishments

WHAT YOU DO



* If you are sewing a heart or flower onto the cover, do that first. Cut out your embellishment and place it on the center right side of one sheet of felt. Sew all the way around the edges with a zig-zag stitch. (It doesn't take long with a sewing machine, but if your kid is screaming and can't be consoled with chocolate or beer, skip to the next step.



* For the cover, sandwich the sheet of interfacing between the two sheets of felt and sew closed. I sewed two paths using zig-zag stitch: One to secure the interfacing (my interfacing scrap wasn't large enough to reach the edges) to the felt and the other to close the edges.



* Center the sheets sheets of paper onto the cover and sew along the center using the widest straight stitch available on your machine. The closer your stitch the more perforate-y your pages will be.

Of course, if you give a kid a sketchbook before bedtime you'll have to find some crayons.



Beware of the broken ones.

How speicies REALLY evolve ...

As is usual for plans ...

They start out grand:



Or as grand as your illustrative skills can draw them.

Then your plans meet your skills ...

Which are decidedly less than grand:



I'm speaking of my own skills, of course, not yours. I know you don't come here for the craftacular tutorials. You are smarter than that.

But I digress.

Where were we? Oh yes, my skills meeting my plans and taking each other outside for a brawl. That's a fair assessment of what happened when I tried to make bat wings for the boy's Halloween costume.

Let's go back to the near beginning, when I visited the fabric store masquerading as a woman with seamstress-like skills. That would be where I made my first egregious blunder: I selected black pleather and light gray satin for the wing material.

My only defense is that they were between 30 and 50 percent off and I was deluded by the jump on seasonal sale prices. Well, there's that and the parenting voice in my mind that thought a light silk would be more reflective at night (as if I was planning to let the little guy traipse around trick-or-treating without my vice-like grip in his arm.)

Again with the digression.

Anyhow. All was going as planned.



I'd carefully kinda measured the pleather against the arm of a brown hoodie and cut out a half circle of the plastic-y fabric. I turned it, right side, against the pleather and cut another for the opposite arm.

Next I cut out pieces of satin using the pleather wings as a template.



I then pinned the fabrics of each wing - right sides inward - and sewed around each one, leaving enough room to turn it right side out.



Of course then I had to figure out how to attach the little suckers to the sweater.

Which meant I sat there for quite a while looking off into space and sewing up some black fleece triangles to jam into the hood part for ears. Again with the precision. Basically, I made over-sized black bunny ears, cut slits on either side of the hood and sewed the ears pointing outward.

(I also cut a pumpkin shape out of felt and sewed it over a monkey that didn't belong on the hoodie, as instructed by the little man.)

But eventually I was forced to revisit the wing attachment problem. Now, at the store, I thought the satin would go in front, but immediately realized it wouldn't look like a bat if I did that ... I also realized with the satin the back was going to look like a torn off prom dress.

But I was already committed to the abomination.

My preferred method to attach them would have been to seam-rip the edges of the hoodie from arm cuff to waist cuff, turn it inside out, insert the wings into those seams and sew the thing back up again.

But I know my skills, and that was just asking for trouble.

So what I did was convince myself that the sweatshirt was WAY TOO BIG for the little guy anyway (not to mention made of a nice, stretchy material) so I'd just sew the wings on to the outside, nipping in the arms and torso of the hoodie.



Of course it might have helped if I actually pinned them in the same general vicinity of each other, instead of one in the front of the sleeve and the other in back, but ...

It would be dark. ... No one will notice.

Which is probably true. ... As is the closely-held belief that the memory of a homemade costume will turn mythic as time wears on.

Or so I will tell him.

Until he agrees to wear it, however, his sister will have to model the suit of flying mammal.

The baby's perfect ... the gift doesn't have to be

As it turns out some long overdue babies we know may have been waiting for us to get back into the sewing groove to finally make their arrival.

Because as soon as we got the new machine up and running, the happy news started pouring in.

Seeing as how we only had pink and white cuddle fabric in supply, we're a little relieved that the takin'-their-time sprogs were of the girl variety.

Along with the taggie blankets we made for the last batch of bairns, we added a not-so-cute but extremely cuddly bunny to our baby gift repertoire. They were super easy and nearly painless to make.


THINGS YOU NEED

* 1/2 yard of white cuddle (minky) fabric
* 1/4 yard of flannel
* White thread
* Snippet of ribbon
* Fabric scissors
* Pins
* Poly-fill

THINGS YOU DON'T NEED but may be helpful ...
* Sewing machine
* A non-perfectionist's viewpoint on sewing (The baby is perfect so the toy doesn't have to be ... pay no attention to the atrophied arm.)


FIRST:

Cut two each of these from the cuddle fabric ...



Then cut two each of these from the flannel ...




NEXT

* Piece each set together so the outside faces in
* Sew the ears and arms and legs around on three sides then turn right-side out ... Fill the legs with stuffing. You can fill the ears and arms loosely with poly-fill or leave them floppy. I left mine floppy, but I sewed a little channel around the inside of the ear to give a little more depth.
* Turn the head/body fabrics so outside faces in
* Place ears and arms in between the two layers, pinning them in place.
* Sew around three sides, leaving the bottom open.
* Insert legs into bottom opening, turn fabric edges inward and pin shut.
* sew straight across the bottom.

You can tie a ribbon around the neck, or leave it in its birthday suit.


And ...

Well ...

That's it.

Painless, so long as you don't stick yourself with a pin.

There's only one thing sweeter ...

The only thing sweeter than chocolate infused with orange and sprinkled liberally with ribbon candy is a newborn baby.

Well, that's what I was thinking anyway when I got happy news of several new arrivals on the planet Parenthood.

I was also thinking: "Oh-My-God-What-Will-I-Get-Them?"

So. ... I put the two ideas together and came up with a classic gift - A taggie blanket.




CHOCOLATE ORANGE RIBBON CANDY LOVIE

WHAT YOU NEED

* Dark brown minky fabric, 11" x 14" (I made the measurement up).
* Orange, non-pilling fleece, 11" x 14" (Just match the measurement you made up for the brown minky fabric).
* A variety of fabric ribbons, at least 4" inches in lenght. My collection is a mixture of purchased just for this project, collected over time as I pass by the dollar bin at Target and saved from boxes of chocolate from chi-chi chocolatiers (That last one is a hint ;).
* Scissors
* Orange thread
* Straight pins
* Sewing machine
* About an hour if you are me or don't have a sewing machine. Twenty minutes if you have the sewing prowess God gave a goat.



WHAT YOU DO
* Cut about 14 four-inch lengths of ribbon.
* Sandwich the minky and fleece materials so that the outside face each other
* Fold ribbon in half and insert between the blanket material so the loose ends of the ribbon protrude about a quarter inch. Pin the ribbons in place. (I put four, evenly-spaced ribbons on the short ends of the blanket and six on one long end. I left the other long end ribbonless.)
* Sew almost all the way around the outer edges. (I tried to make curved edges, which mostly worked but were uneven).
* Trim any excess fabric outside of the seam. (I forgot this step).
* Turn the blanket inside out and fold the unsewn area inward.
* Topstich around the outside edge. (This is where having even seams would have been nice).

You're Done ...



It won't even melt in your hands.


** To provide even more fun, you can attach a baby teether to one of the ribbons before you start sewing or you can sandwich a sheet of crinkly mylar between the fabric layers.

Who was that handsome, absorbing man?

Who's the most absorbing super hero ever?

It's not SpongeBob.

It's Bath Towel Man.

Stronger than a roll of two-ply bath tissue.

Faster than an open faucet.

Able to leap giant puddles with a single splash.


WHAT YOU'LL NEED
1 Bath towel
1 Hand towel (matching color)
2 Washcloths, (contrasting colors)
Loop and hook strips
Fabric scissors
Your kid's ability to suspend disbelief

HELPFUL BUT NOT NECESSARY
A computer printout of a giant letter
Sewing machine
The ability to suspend disbelief


WHAT I DID
First I stared off into space for a very long time.
Then I looked online for instructions.
Finding none that matched my mind's snapshot, I resumed staring into space.

THEN
I got a really bad idea and ran with it:

*PIN your letter template to a washcloth and cut it out (I, of course, winged it).
*Next SEW the washcloth letter to the other washcloth with a straight stitch, and then zig-zag stitch all around the inside and outside edges of the letter.
*Then SEW the washcloth insignia to the bath towel. (Mine was all askew, you'll get it centered.)
*Take a hand towel and FOLD it over length-wise about two and a half inches and sew. (This will be the collar.).
* CUT the remainder of the hand towel away so you have a long strip.
* Take the bath towel and SPREAD it out over a table.
* LAY the hand towel piece about seven inches from the top.
* GATHER the bath towel in so that the ends of the hand towel piece extends slightly past the edges of the cape.
* SEW the hand towel to the bath towel
* AFFIX loop and hook strips to the "collar"

That's it. Put it on and you are ready to absorb water droplets everywhere.

It's not because we're cheap, it's because we care (what other people think)

Every time Ittybit is invited to a birthday party, when it comes to finding an appropriate present, I turn into a strange and sad version of the entity known as Competimommy.

The gift -- especially when you don't know a person and are trying to make friends -- becomes all important.

It can't be too loud, or take up too much room. It can't cost too many dollars or too few cents. It has to conform to a parenting style you may or may not espouse -- Attachment, Free Range, Conservative, Liberal, Waldorf, Licensed Character Friendly, Plastic Aversion, Barbie Is Killing Feminism -- lest the item wind up in the trash.

Silly, I know. It's just another thing that will inevitably take up space on yard sale table or gather dust under a bed.

Since the crafting virus has recently settled in, I've been thinking of ways to spread the germs. Birthday Parties seem perfect.

Handmade, after all, is kind of the new black; upcycling, the new salvage.

So, fresh off the success of felt crowns, and feeling a little smug about the boy’s Monster Pilla, for the most recent party we attended we made a …

HEY! MONSTER, WAKE UP! PILLOW



WHAT YOU'LL NEED:

* A man's extra large sweater (I used something I found in the closet that resembled terry cloth but softer)
* Something small made of polar fleece that has pockets I used a child's-sized vest.
*Buttons
* Threads of matching color
* Embroidery floss
* Fabric scissors
* Fiberfil stuffing (Yes, I did gut a thrifted pillow)
* About 20 minutes with a sewing machine (or an hour with a needle and a beer)

WHAT YOU DON'T REALLY NEED (unless you are worried you will drive a nail in the coffin of the economy {causing terrorists to win} if you don't keep buying stuff) BUT MIGHT BE NICE.

*A small (tiny) travel alarm clock


WHAT YOU DO:

* Launder garments if they've been laying on the floor of your husband's side of the bed or the bottom of the kids' closets. For any length of time. Ever.



* Cut the backside of the men's sweater into a large rectangle.

* Cut the pocket (top side only) off the fleece.

* Fold the pillow material in half and eyeball where the middle is.

* Place the pocket in the spot where the middle seems to be and pin it to the pillow material.

* Unfold the pillow fabric and topstitch the pocket around three sides. Leave the top open (unless your monster happens to eats laterally or sub-mandibly (that's not a word).

* Sew on the eyes with embroidery floss. (You could alternatively use felt circles and blanket-stitch them to the pillow fabric).



* Refold pillow material (wrong-side out) and sew around three sides, leaving the last side open enough to jam in the stuffing.

* Turn right side out and stuff it (I've always wanted to say that).

* Turn open edges inward and whipstitch pillow closed.

* Wrap clock, slip into pocket. All you need to do after that is make a card and you're good to go.

Friday Craftacular breaks with superstition

Lots of people get all sorts of weird about spilled salt, broken mirrors and ladders blocking a path. I'm not one of them (I'm not!), but I have to admit when three-quarters of our family selected a BLACK CAT from all the cute and fuzzy kittens at the shelter I felt a tad uneasy.

She was chosen for her name - Ariel - rather than the coloring of her coat. As it turns out she is quite possibly the "Best Pet Of All" despite some obvious drawbacks. Namely, 1. she is not a dog, and 2. the litterbox. Any cat that lets the kids tote her around, dress her up or make her perform any number of feline indignities, is just a good, good animal.

Not to mention an animal worthy of having its face immortalized in a foam-like substance.



Which is essentially our craftacular project for the week: Kitten's Got Your Hair Clip.

WHAT YOU'LL NEED:

*Air-dry clay in assorted colors. (We used Crayola Model Magic primarily because it was the only air-dry clay I could find at the store. I'm not usually a fan of mess-less products, but I have to admit the Crayola clay is pretty perfect for tykes because of its ease of use).

Contour hair clips. (We used Goody, $2+ for a pack of six.)

*A toothpick (We didn't have any ... and floss didn't work ... so I broke a tine off a plastic fork).

*A glue gun I was looking around the house for Superglue, which we don't have either, and Ittybit dug out the glue gun from the bottom of the toy box. (!!! Why? Where do you keep yours?) Turns out it will work, but you have to be ready to be gentle with the clips or make repairs).

*Five minutes, tops. (Even though this project isn't time consuming, you might want to remove all bothersome and/or distracting objects from the hands of smaller siblings. Just sayin').



WHAT YOU DO:

Mix your colors. ... Add a little white to your black if you want gray ... or a little red to your white for pink.



Roll a lump of clay into a ball and squish it flat for the head.

Shape two triangles out of the same color and attach to the head where ears might be.

Affix smaller, pink triangles into the ears, another for the nose.

Poke some holes for eyes,

Add whiskers and a mouth if you like. (Or make it look like a pirate or a ballerina. ... You can probably figure out how ... an eye patch or a tiara might do the trick. ...



We let ours dry overnight before affixing it to the clip, but my guess is you could just shoot some molten glue gun adhesive to the hairclip and dust your hands of the project until morning. (*Note: Glue Guns are HOT! Make sure your kids are supervising you with their full attention).



When you *might* try actually combing your child's hair *BEFORE* you try and tame it with clips.

Craftacular Friday: Monsters will make themselves (all you have to do is feed them)

soon as Ittybit and I finished her Breakfast In Bed pillow, The Champ was growling for a craft of his own.

“I wan pilla, too … monsta pilla. … pweeese?!”

A monster pillow?

I searched the internet and etsy, and books at the library, and came up with nothing more than the understanding that the monster would likely create itself if I let it.

So I headed to my stash of leftover sweaters and let the The Champ’s monster find me.

This is what crept in through the sewing machine ...



What you’ll need
* A women’s small-sized sweater (I used a cashmere cable knit)
* An infant’s zip-front cardigan
* A large scrap of brightly patterned cotton fabric
* A larger scrap of plain fabric
* Stuffing or pillow form (why, yes. I did use cotton balls)
* One sleeve of a man’s large micro fleece jersey
* Two buttons
* Thread in matching shades
* Embroidery floss
* The patience of a saint



What I did (A twelve-step program)

1. I cut across the top of the sweater removing the sleeves to make a tube that would become the monster's head.

2. I turned the tube of fabric inside out and machine-stitched the top.

3. I next cut the zipper off the infant sweater leaving a margin of the knit, and stared at it for a VERY. LONG. TIME. (I had no idea what I was doing).

4. I cut a big rectangle of cotton fabric, folding it in half and stitched it on two sides, creating a pocket.

5. I then sewed the pocket, wrong-side out, onto the salvaged zipper.



6. I slit a hole in the center of the top third of the pillow form, poked the pocket through the opening, and hand-stitched the zipper (still zipped) on either side of the slit.



7. I unzipped the zipper and cut away more of the sweater, and then stitched more along the edges on the inside of the new “pocket” to make sure it was secure.

8. Then I stared at it for a VERY. LONG. TIME. thinking: ‘people who really know how to sew will laugh at this.’ Look, the pins aren't even facing the right direction. If the sewing machine hits one of the pin heads ...

Then I broke the needle. ...

And spent the next 25 minutes looking for a replacement and a flat head screwdriver. (I refuse to count those as steps).

9. Once I had the machine situation under control, I cut off the sleeve of one of my husband’s micro-fleece jerseys (to use as monster legs) and cut it in half up the center. I folded each piece wrong-side out, and stitched along the long edge. I right-sided each leg, and hand-stitched them to the bottom half of the pocket leaving the bottoms open.

10. I found two buttons and sewed them above the “mouth" as "eyes." (NOT thinking of Coraline at all).

11. I made a pillow form out of a large piece of cotton fabric (you can buy one pre-made), and stuffed it with cotton balls. (What? I still haven't gotten to the craft supply store.)



12. Then I turned the monster inside out, lined up the corners of the pillow insert and the corners of the monster and stitched the corners (back and forth with the zig-zag machine stitch. Returned the pillow right-side out.



Of course, the thirteenth step is going to need a twelve-step program of its own.

This monster is hungry.

Friday Craftacular pulls a rabbit out of its hat

So here we are a couple-a few days away from Easter and The Bunny's assistant is running around like ... well ... a chocolate bunny with her head bitten off. (Doh! That would have been a better Craftacular Friday project that this one. Rats!)

I came up with this idea while I was in the drugstore, looking at candy. For some reason seeing all the chocolate rabbits lined up in rows, some in gold tinfoil, made me think of making a bunny ornament for our Christmas, January, Valentine, Leprechaun, Easter Tree.

As you may notice from the photo, the project is only "finish-ished." I need to do more work on the egg bit.

So here's what you need:

Felted sweaters (or craft felt)
Small scraps of fabric for ear elements.
Stuffing material (I used cotton balls I bought from the same drugstore where the idea came from because I never seem to be able to get to a craft store to by fiberfill.)
Some embroidery floss
Ribbon
A hankering for chocolate

*First I bought the dang chocolate rabbit and tried to draw its outline on a piece of paper to make a pattern. (I added feet because I think rabbits should have them). I also drew an egg shape and cut out both shapes.

*Next I ate the rabbit. (sorry kids).

*Cut out and pin your patterns to the fabric and make two of each shape.

*I sewed each set of shapes around the edges using a blanketstich. I started at the base of the bunny's neck and went around the lower body first then stopped at the top of the ears. Notice my fine craftsmanship. (Go ahead, scroll back up and look at the picture closely.) I swear I wasn't imbibing any adult beverages.

*Before I closer-on-up, I sewed on the ear elements with a few stitches and then a few more stitches for the eyes. (I don't recommend XXs ... unless the bunny's been in your garden).

*Stuffed with stuffing.

*Snipped a length of grosgrain ribbon, folded into a loop and inserted into the neck opening.

*Stitched it shut. (Use remaining cotton balls to mop your brow if you like.)

*Do the same kinda thing with the egg.

When I started the project I had envisioned two separate ornaments, but I think sewing the egg into the bunny's paws would be possible.

If you make this project I'd love to see your results, especially if you improvise.