One nation under ...

DOG.



That was essentially our theme for this year's People's Parade.

The kids took up the cause of The Kinderhook Dog Park as a last-minute parade float, and, with their dad's help, constructed a moving dog crate featuring Roosevelt (designed by Annabel) bringing up the front and the rear ...



 

as well as "Conmoto Roto Simoto" -- the puppy Silas designed -- who absolutely, positively looks NOTHING like a turtle! (What are you crazy?).





Of course we managed to get all the way to the parade lineup without a single splash of color from a patriotic palate. The red, white and blue garland you see was provided by a very nice person behind us in line. Someone who may or may not have been tipped off about our ignorance (pronounced ignore-ance) of the significance of Independence Day.

You know, because last year we paraded around as if it were Chinese New Year and handed out dragon cookies.

This year we hauled around a cardboard kennel and handed out dog biscuits.



 

I'd say by next year we'll have this thing down.

Best $5 I've spent this summer

Although I have a feeling I'm going to spend a small fortune in ping-pong balls.

ROCK paper, scissors

I awoke on the second official day of Summer Vacation™ hearing a chorus of "what are we going to do today?" in three-part harmony with an undertone of whining ... something about "boredom."

I hadn't even had my first cup of coffee so you can imagine how pleasant I was in my response.

Truth be told ... I pretty much used up all my energy (and extra cash) on the first official day of  Summer Vacation™ when, under threat of thunderstorm, we went to the movies, lunch at a Chinese restaurant and to an indoor gym with inflatables. 

So that might have had a little something to do with the fact that I had to peel myself off the ceiling at the mention of the "b" word.

"How could you be bored? Have you already forgotten the Summer Reading Program™? We just got about a bazillionteen books out of the library -- which you begged me for -- so I KNOW you haven't read them already." 

"But mo-om!" 

"But. Mom. Nothing.  

"I mean ... We've also got toys, and games and art supplies. ... 

"Didn't I just buy paper™?
"And glue sticks™?
"And scissors™... with blunt ends so you won't go stabbing anyone in the thigh as you run around the house like maniacs?" 

"Well, yeah ... but ..." 

"But nothing. We're making crafts. Lots and lots of crafts.
"And then we're reading books .... Lots and lots of books.
"In fact, today we're making bookmarks."

And so that's what we did.

We used our paper.

And our scissors.

And we rocked the bookmarks.

And then we rocked a card for the wedding of some friends this summer.

Who knows what will happen tomorrow.

Maybe we'll finally get to read a book.

The Champ's Happy (safety violation) Birthday

The princesses and fairies aren't wearing hardhats.

The bathers aren't wearing life jackets.

The construction workers aren't watching what they're doing, not to mention the fact that they're using two different kinds of cement: royal icing and buttercream.

But I have it on good authority cookies (and cupcakes) lose a ton of calories once they've been cracked open with a jackhammer.

Our library is wild

While your library may have a Dog Days of Summer Reading Program ....

our library has the Canis Lupus Arctos Days of Summer Reading Program.

Just sayin'.

Arrrrr!

Avast ye scurvy dog, ye! Make a wish!






I can't fink of a wish. This is the best birfday ever!

What I learned at dance recital 2012 ...

Eye shadow? Bring it.

Lip gloss. More is not enough.

Blusher? Ran out. C'est la vie. 

But foundation? Bad mojo.

Those freckles?  ....  Do. Not. Mess. With. Them.

They aren't sprinkles of sun damage to her, they are a fine dusting of happiness on her cheeks.

Without them she just isn't herself.

Photographic evidence ...

Cats don't really care if you are living. Their only requirements are that you look like you are trying to read and that you have a lap.

Splash knuckles and surprise parties

The Champ has started planning a "surprise" birthday party.

For himself.

Yes. He's turning five this month and he's planning a party that he hopes will set the world front yard on fire. It's going to be crazy: A water slide. Squirt guns. Splash toys. Girls. Cupcakes. Hot dogs. Girls ... (some boys I invited, *SURPRISE*) and ... more girls.

I'm assuming he expects there to be a literal fire, too, as he was emphatic that the first thing the royal we needed to make for this shindig was some kind of water-sploshing device he saw on a PBS kids' craft show "JUST IN CASE."

Thankfully, SPLONGE BALLS aren't that difficult to make:

Take regular kitchen sponges (the kind without the scrubby layer).




Cut them into strips (about six or so for each sponge).




Gather about six or nine strips together.




Slip an elastic band through a string (or loop it around another elastic band) and tie it tightly around the center of the sponge strips.




Wash, rinse, repeat ... and in no time you'll have a fistful of splash knuckles!




Now I'll just have to remind him: "Toss ... don't punch."

The road isn't less traveled ...

It's just more pot-holed.

Lord of the Flies

The musical.

Breathing room

It's been a long, angsty, nothing-bodes-well kind of week.

But we're all still here and hanging on.

Thursday afternoon offered a pretty good moment. The Champ graduated from the Marilla Cuthbert Academy for Unspeakably Charming Children.

I expected to cry ... and I did ... but not how I'd thought it would happen.

We were leaving and I saw my family skipping up the sidewalk into the afternoon sun. We'd never be in this place again. I wasn't sad so much as relieved. Small days may be over but big days are still ahead. Onward we go.






Perhaps the best part of the week happened near the end of the day today.

A new beginning of sorts.

We went to pick up our first CSA share at a local farm.

After a little walk around the place ... visiting the horses, pigs and sheep ... we found our way back to the gathering barn.

This week's bounty: Squash, zucchini, radishes, turnips, arugula, lettuce, cilantro and something called kohlrabi, which the internets informed me can be eaten raw in salad or cooked in a stir fry.








We did both.

Ittybit ate it by the fistful as we sauteed the remainder with chickpeas, curry sauce and leftover beef.

It feels good to expand our horizons.





And get some breathing room.

Smitten

This is the face of a boy so in lurve he made a painting in a girl's honor.

Then he asked me to ask her to come and see it.

He backed away and pretended he was invisible. Shy.

Unless I'm mistaken, and this is not the face of a boy so smitten but one who sent his mother on a ruse so he could check out a girl's posterior.

I'm just going to pretend it was the former and not the latter.

I wish I loved this even a little ...

I'd make a perfect pageant mom.

I'd be the one who'd would be all up in her face: "Are you having fun? ... Do you actually enjoy this? ... Because we can stop any time you want. Like tomorrow ... or the day after that ... or right now. You just say the word."

Heavy sigh. Stretched smile.

Class clown

It's STOP

DROP

and ROLL!

If you wanted me to cover my face it should be STOP, DROP, COVER YOUR FACE, and ROLL!

The lesser known Neapolitan spiritual ...

"Goombah yah my lord, goombah yah.

"Goombah yah my lord, goombah yah. 

"Oooooo lordo, Goombah Yah."

Space Craft Camp

Every one thought I was crazy to indulge Ittybit's whim of hosting a day-long space camp play date for her second grade class. Or perhaps they were just gauging my usual level of patience (which, admittedly, seems to be dwindling by the year) against my level of anxiety and stress (which is strangely increasing in direct, proportional amounts to the number of miles I drive throughout the day on errands and extra curricular events).

But, I  know my limits. I also knew weekend baseball and softball practice would probably limit the RSVPs.

As it turned out, entertaining five second graders (and a soon-to-be-kindergartener) for one afternoon is within my abilities, especially when you mix a few planned activities with liberal amounts of unstructured play.


             

They're really at a wonderful age. Given an outline they can create something you'd never even imagined.

Expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised. That is my motto.

Space cadet ...

That would be me for agreeing to host a "Space Craft Camp" tomorrow for Ittybit's second grade class.






I suggested we eat Oreos and plant sunflowers, but she wants to create a play (including scenery) based on the old Schoolhouse Rock! song Interplanet Janet.

She's already staked out the role of Janet and her brother wants to be Pluto.

This should be good.

Brother of Invention

At the helm of his "Space-Mo-Pod-o Motor Flyer."

Not pictured is the turbo rocket booster ...

Which ...

On a good day ...

Looks a little like this:





But if he's really lucky ...

And he plays his cards right ...

The turbo rocket booster could look like this:

Double agent wear

I unabashedly admit I'm a sucker for McDonald's toys.

Have been since they first started coming out with Happy Meals when I was a kid.

And though my tastes have thankfully outgrown the food that comes in the box, I can't say the same for some of the playthings.

This month we've been hitting up the drive-through window pretty regularly as The Champ is trying to collect as many Spy Gear toys as he can while the promotion lasts.

Ittybit ... being a mature lady of 8 ... is trying to restrain herself, though she did happily accept the gift of a weaponized cell phone toy.

But I digress.

Thus far The Champ has amassed about a dozen things (not all of them from McD's) that will aid him in his recon missions.

As you might imagine, a dozen techno-toys are pretty difficult to juggle, so he asked me to make him a tool belt in a similar style to Ittybit's garden apron.

Instead I decided to make a SPY VEST:


I started by searching the internet for simple vest patterns. After I found one that looked easy enough to draw I remembered that the dog had eaten the measuring tape. So ... I took a Sharpie and marked approximate measurements on a length of organza ribbon.


Then I drew a pattern like this on folded newsprint.





I used pleather leftover from the Bat Jacket I made two years ago for Halloween  for the vest, black fleece for the pockets and ribbon for loops.

First I hemmed the edges of the collar, arm cuts and outside edges of the vest front and then sewed the shoulders and sides together.

Then I hemmed edges of fleece rectangles which would be the pockets, and top-stitched them to the vest. (I actually gave a little thought to the toys that would go in the pockets and tried to distribute them so that the weight of the gadgets would be evenly distributed.

I folded a narrow length of pleather and stitched them to the top front of vest. I looped a circle of ribbon through the pleather strap so that toys with hanging edges could be inserted.

After that was done I noticed that the vest was a little shorter along the bottom than I had expected (and also uneven) so I hemmed and sewed a length of fleece along the bottom edge to add length and even it up.

 

Finally ... I loaded it up with gear and realized the first thing the kid would say when he tried it on would be ...

"WOW! Mom ... You're the best mom I ever had!"

And the second thing ... after he took it off ...

"It's too heavy, though."

First gift: Laughter

The Champ: It's your BIRTHDAY, mom. You should have a piñata!

The Mom: What a great idea. But what kind? It should look like something I'd want to hit with a stick. 

The Dad: I know! It should be a Dad piñata.

The Champ: NO! That's not a good ... well, OK, maybe it is a good idea.

Ittybit (shaking her head): There's a joke in there somewhere.
The Mom: It will be apparent as soon as he presents me with a vacuum cleaner as a token of his appreciation.

What I learned today ...

I noticed the best location for cell phone reception at the dog park is right in front of waste disposal site. Coincidence? 

Lunacy

It's not as if this is so special. Ask my kids ...

"Super Moon? Phreffft."

"It's not even wearing a cape."

"Hey, wait: That smudge right there ... I bet that's E.T."

It's a good thing you live here ...

"Mom? When our house gets old can we move into a different kind of house?"

"Someday you will move into your own house."

"What!? Wivout my parents?"

"Hard to believe, I know, but it's true. Someday you'll be the daddy."

"But I don't even know how to juggle. I can't use a chainsaw. And I don't have a driving license or a van!"

"Good thing you live here then."

From the 'Things I Never Thought I'd Say' department ...

"We don't stand on chairs with our HEADS or our feats!"