Google has made me illiterate (in German)

As one might do from time to time, I peruse the data that shows how people happen on my ramblings. It's a sneaky little spy trick enabled by Site Meter, and it tells me, among other things, that some of you are looking for the "Perfect Frame for your Husband's 50th Birthday." To my horror, however, it turns out some folks have attempted to translate my writing into other languages. After translating the translation back, I have come to the stunning conclusion that I am illiterate. Some of you reading in English may have known this all along.

So, without further incoherant babbling, this is what some poor soul in Germany thinks I wrote in this essay over at Exiled in Toyland

Ow! OW! OWWWW!" My married man is dancing, again kreischend and around the house in a cloth. "you know that we should keep a Discokugel for the shower real, if you on practicing your movements verse-eat are" I explain to him, without looking above from my play "of the grocer's shop memory" with Ittybit at all. (we are at the part, in which them try to cause me to give however, my acquires straight rejects its $49 for two boxes of teigwaren and of cardboard Huehnerbruehe as at the MATERIAL market to in-sag), it weights that it believes like something, which bites it. I think that he is fair a phantom pass, until he hurls down the cloth and stomps on him. It searches carefully by the trampled Terrycloth and extracts a flatpressed wasp. Proof, according to its side of history that the carnivorous insect in a clean cloth, which was it from the laundry basket pulled already folded however not already away set. I am not safe I can of more local lives with the wilderness bear, which moves away each time by our house the change of season. Additionally to the occasional in free dwelling neighbourhood cat, which forms its way at home despite the presence of two loveable however loud of dogs, I waited attendance of confused Raccoons, blows and way rail of birds to be mentioned in order discombobulated houseguests as, spiders of all multiplicity freeloading not; Continuous screws I cannot mark; Lady hears nicely is, those in the small numbers, but terrifying in the swarms off; and ants, which fly. Each year gets a new mark of troubles. The wasps, although, have inside for good moved. I place before me that she thought wasp out "condominimums" behind the walls in the roof rafters establishes. On the sun portal in the evenings, I watch out sip my coffee and its enormous body wheedle in and from the bright attachments. I am that they study the verges, thus it the magic of the photocopy to their even more than modest place of residence to surely get can. I cannot begin me, of these creatures as everything else to think as villainous. Particularly if Ittybit comes, constantly to me of playroom the same portal and it weights that there is a "slow-acting, slow-acting, furchtsames ' more piiider on its duck. And away, "peas, nut/mother, det, ask me it." There I go investigating - prepared completely to shift long legs of a dad or any other general hausspinne and to explain family the slogan: Spiders are our friends - I stop intermediary thoughts, if I see that, what creeps on the gigantic filled animal a wasp is. I more shudder at the picture, which whirls Stingers into my head of this tariff-long monster, which drives it, is in knees of their bee. I sweep it above in my arms and explain to her everything when, which had her right to call me for assistance. While the married man studies the stickers its accumulation insect extermination means, carefully decide which poison materials he ready unleash in the world, around ours of newest troubles to be cleaned is, rush I to the judgement. "this times, we to Disco,", I and I announce run to the bathroom for my no name box of the hair spray, rusty from 12 years from styling neglect and shower steam. "welcomes to the eighties, waspers; I hope that you like extra influence."

So, for those who have red through this and required Anvils, pleas assept me sincerust 'I'm sorrys.'