How NOT to train your dragon

I'm distracted.

He knows it.

He's sitting next to me on the step, growling in my direction through a plastic dragon. I am unsuccessfully trying to pull a series of seemingly related words out of my atrophied brain and push them into the room in hopes they will make sense to the only other adult there with us.

As I continue talking over the din of toddler play, he stuffs the plastic beast down the front of my shirt.

His smile is positively impish as I stop talking, extract the toy and hand it back.

"I am not feeding this."

His bark is NOT worse

bat boy, originally uploaded by toyfoto.

... than his bite.

I've got a 10-day supply of antibiotics to prove it.

Ice, Ice, Baby

ice maam , originally uploaded by toyfoto.

I had to leave work early today.

I had a problem with one of my mammary glands. The left one.

Took me by complete surprise. Ten months with the little guy and nary a hint of trouble. (Not like the last time where every four days I was dealing with something that looked like an alien life form inside my nursing top.)

I self diagnosed a caked breast ... basically a bunch of clogged milk ducts that made the whole thing swollen and painful. Nothing was coming out. Not even a trickle.

I checked in with Dr. Google, who recommended the same thing that the folks I fork over increasingly larger co-pays to did four years ago: hot compresses, warm showers, rest and plenty of nursing. The baby, they say, is the most efficient declogging agent.

Baby drain-o.

But guess what?

They are WRONG. WRONG. WRONG-O.

Now I know babies are efficient little suckers. And Silas was getting something alright, but he was jumping around like a chimp trying to get it. And even then it wasn't enough.

The breast still felt like a brick.

Moist heat? Sweartogod, the four times I had this with Annabel (two of which led to the need for antibiotics to get rid of mastitis) heat never did anything.

And then I thought. What about ICE? To stop swelling most SANE people recommend ice.

Guess what?

Six minutes after four cubes of ice in a Zip-Loc back were applied to general area, Silas nursed without any acrobatics and the clog got noticeably better. In an hour it was feeling back to normal.

So please, tell all your lactating friends ... Hell has frozen over and most doctors don't know or just don't believe. ... Ice, Ice, Baby

Tuning in Radio Free Europe

We just had our first well-baby appointment at the pediatrician's office. Silas -- who weighed 6 pounds, 3 ounces at birth and dropped a grand total of 8 ounces in the hospital, leaving the joint Friday weighing 5 pounds, 11 ounces -- has gained 10 ounces in just four days.

So yeah, he's bulking up.

The doctor again mentioned my breasts must be dispensing heavy cream. (She said this when Annabel came for her first well-baby visit, only two days after leaving the hospital, and had regained everything she lost, too).

I will have some serious things to say once I get back in action, however I couldn't resist posting this photo from the hospital, because it's hilarous and I serious wished I'd taken it. Sad but true.