I'm in love with the doctors in our pediatric practice. LOVE.
I would write bad poetry in their honor.
I would bake them little heart-shaped cakes.
I would wash their cars with a Q-Tip, that's how much I LOVE them.
Not only are they reassuring, but they always seem to smile. Our usual doctor was on vacation this week, a fact I was told beforehand, and it turns out her pitch-hitter was my favorite kind of substitute -- a joker.
DOC: "So ... How is he?"
MOM: "I'd say he's perfect."
DOC: "I'll be the judge of that. I'll be honest, haven't seen a perfect baby yet. ... looks like he gained 27 ounces in a month. ... good. Eyes, ears, throat, tummy, legs ... yup. He's perfect. Although I'll have to take off a half a point for that redness in the neck folds. ...
... HEY! He's the first kid to pee on me today.
MOM: See, I told you he was perfect. He's VERY protective of his mama.
Of course the guy earned my complete devotion, and potential for car detailing services, when I admitted the kid wasn't really perfect considering his wonky kidney and all ....
DOC: "Oh, that. I'd say those kind of kidney things are about as normal as cradle cap. The only reason it's moderate is because he's a baby. I'd be more concerned with some of the notations these places put on the reports ... Says here: "Patient didn't complain about pain in lower abdomen, back or groin. ... I can't wait to meet the newborn who complains. Oh look, also says here he's a non-smoker. Good. I wasn't looking forward to giving THAT lecture."
*Silas weighed in at 10 pounds, 11 ounces. It earns him a slot in the 25th percentile for weight. He measured 22 1/2 inches long (also 25th percentile) and his head is 38 cm in circumference (10th percentile).