Your new password must contain at least seven characters, a capital letter, a digit, a dependent variable, an illustrative fable and a curse word.
You may not use any of your 10 previous curse words.
Your new password will expire in eight days.
If you are in need of further assistance, technical support is available by calling 800-I-CARE-NOT.
Hold your hand firmly on your buttocks ...
and window shade this message.