The average human body contains enough sulfur to kill all fleas on an average dog, carbon to make 900 pencils, potassium to fire a toy cannon, fat to make seven bars of soap, phosphorus to make 2,200 match heads, and water to fill a ten gallon tank.
I found this factoid here and immediately thought: 'WOW, this would make a great children's book.'
How frightening is that? (I guess I won't be quitting my day job any time soon.)
THE YAYA REPORT
What's happening at the other mom's house ...
THE TROUBLE WITH TROLLS
It is quite possible, considering today's Yaya Report, that we are raising a bully.
A little background ...
Over the weekend, Annabel's yoga buddy, Maya, gave her a Happy Meal, complete with Toy Troll from the venerable MickeyDs. She was estatic. It was a toy to covet.
Soon, she was trying to wheedle Maya's toy away from her when her big-hearted friend wasn't looking. Oh sure, she pretended it was all in the name of consideration, using as her ruse (or cover) the phallacy that she was actually bringing the doll back to its rightful owner. ... I knew better.
Flash forward ...
For the past few days, for some mysterious reason, Troll has been personna-non-grata. Annabel played with Pooh, the kittens and dogs, the Playmobils and virtually every humanoid and non-humanoid plaything she could get her mitts on. Everything, that is, except THE TROLL.
The need for intervention ...
Lori, trying to show Ittybit the error of her ways, took the Troll under her wing and gave it a voice. When they played "House," the crazy, redheaded bridge dweller came a-knocking with Lori's help. Annabel let her in, finally, but when Lori's back was turned, out she was put as if she were the trash. Eventually, Annabel abandoned the House and got out the "Schewl Bus." Soon everyone got a chance to get onboard. Everyone except for you-know-who.
LORI: Why can't Troll go on the school bus?
ITTYBIT: There's no room.
LORI: But Kitty and Doggie are on the bus, and you said before NO PETS!
ITTYBIT: Oh (takes K and D off the bus).
LORI: OK. Now there's room on the bus for Troll. Can she go on the bus?
ITTYBIT: No. You Cain't GO on the bus.
The moral of the story ...
LORI: Somebody's always got to be the bad guy, I guess. Otherwise there wouldn't be much of a story. ... Come to think of it, I wasn't too nice to my trolls, either.
Rest assured, we'll be working on an affirmative action for trolls.