Friday, July 18, 2008

Simple pleasures aren't always so simple

her turn, originally uploaded by toyfoto.

When she was a baby I called her sharp eyes and furrowed brow "storm clouds."

Sometimes I could circumvent the disaster, often times I just had to wait it out.

Even now that she's the grand old age of four the storm fronts roll across her face with rapid advance and ferocious intensity. And usually by the time all hell's broken loose there's little for me to do but hold my breath and hope to contain my own blustery rage.

I. DON'T. WANT. TO ....

Mostly I think she is tired. She doesn't go to bed on time. She's not getting enough sleep. Who could expect a child to have the patience of a saint when their schedule is as hectic as hers?

And that's what I tell people when her ominous skies erupts into hurricane force winds: "She's exausted."

But as every parent must do, I wonder: Is she really tired or is she just a ... the word that must be whispered ... brat?

They say you have to choose your battles, but which are worth fighting?

Is this normal?

Do I give in to her whims to often?
Should I care more about all these little things that matter to her?
When I'm thinking, 'What's one extra popsicle in the grand scheme of things?' am I really leading her down the road to a lifetime of unhappyiness?

Sometimes I feel like my REAL job is to protect her from herself.

Brush your teeth
Take a bath
Wear sun screen

These are all the physical things that will hurt her over the course of her lifetime should she not do them NOW.

But what about all the little things now that she's not a baby ... The bending to her whims because it's easier and really, I don't have an opinion one way or the other?

Do they not add up to some form of decay as well?


Sara said...

I'm already asking myself these questions about Charlotte - well, I guess I have been for awhile. I'm not sure it ends.

Christina said...

I've been lurking here for a while, enjoying your words and photos. But today I just had to pp in to say that this post really spoke to me. I struggle with the same questions with my 2 year old.

doh! said...

I also have been lurking and enjoying the beautiful photos. I have a 4 month old girl, and right now I give in to everything, which I think is as it should be at this age. But I've found myself wondering how, as she gets older, am I going to NOT give in to everything?

Darrin said...

I just made all of the stuff "seem" fun so my kiddos would bend to my wishes.

As they get older however, they get smarter and it's not so easy. However, once the stuff becomes habit, you're set!

Anonymous said...

She is learning to share her parents love now that another draws their attention… this is a confusing state for a child especially since she dearly loves her competitor, “Silas”. She knows he admirers her because they are on the same teem… the sibling teem, he will connect with her because of their similar interest in play and ways of amusing themselves. When the word “Brat “ is used, is it because of an un-understanding of her understanding of the world? Silas will utter her name and pronounce it correctly first… before yours. She will pick-up on this. Being her first time on the planet she may not understand that love can be shared and needs to feel as important as she once did, all children are different and some need extra reassuring than others that can manifest into the term “brat”.
Later, Kcoz

toyfoto said...

That? made me weepy. Thank you.

Jenn said...

Wow, did this hit home. I'm struggling with this with Little A right now. Just last night when we were laying in bed I said to HRH, "seriously, what am I going to do with her? I have absolutely no control".
"She's three, Jenn" he said.
I've just not seen three like this. Am reading "Raising the Spirited Child" right now, but failing on the applications suggested. (Suspecting author doesn't have children)