Monday, June 11, 2007

Would someone like to hit me over the head or burn down my house? Because that would really be a perfect end to this day

... you know, I'd just like to be prepared and all. ...

We had the Level II ultrasound today, and both of Thing 2's kidneys are indeed dialated - the right one only slightly and the left is more than twice the size of normal.

Another office, another set of forms to fill out, another gentle technician probes around. Spending a lot of time on his face. She waits until he moves his hand away from his mouth so she can get a unobstructed view. He smiles a little as I watch her nudge him with the wand. I melt.

Another printout from the machine. "Here. Have a second copy for your husband," she says, and I thank her. She gathers a ribbon of printouts and leaves the room to get the doctor. I wait there, sitting up on the table, looking at his little, sleeping face in my hands.

Another smiling doctor. This one is more than happy to tell me not only is kidney dilation a marker for Down syndrome, but that while everything else has seemed OK up until now, she's seen LOTS of people come through her office with only one marker turn out to have Downs babies. "We'll only know for sure after he's born."

Really? Thanks for that.


Kcoz said...

This news just ruined my day as well.

I followed the link and read a bit more about Down Syndrome, they say it occurs most with older women pregnancies, than they say 80% of DS babies are born to women under thirty-five years. Ya think they could make up their mind about that?

I feel really, really, sad for you right now and I hope things work out for the best.


Mrs. Harridan said...

Oh Lord - I don't know what's worse: when doctors/nurses are awful and grave about your results, or when they're smiley and calm. You want to strangle them either way.

I had a quad screen that showed a potential positive for Down Syndrome, so I can relate to the worry you must be enduring right now. I'm thinking of you. Hang in there.

Firestarter5 said...

This is also known by another medical term: Covering their ass.

They will rhyme off to you every possible complication or problem that may arise, that way, if something did take place they can stand there beside you and say "We told you this could happen."

Alot of Doctors and Nurses have the bedside manner of a viper. To you, this birth is monumental. To them, it's just another day at work.

Remember that.

This Kanuck is pulling for ya!

toyfoto said...

Thanks, everyone, for your concern and your words. It means a lot to me. It really does. So many people have given me such wonderful things to think about, and It's really wonderful knowing you're out there reading.

I'm trying really hard to remember there's no good way to convey (potentially) bad news. Some feel smiling and being upbeat is helpful. I don't happen to take comfort in smiling in the face of trying times, so it's really a no-win situation for the healthcare provider).

So while I might be having a tough time absorbing all that's been said, I know there's probably no good way to say it.

mamatulip said...

I can understand your anxiety -- when I was pregnant with Oliver a chromosomal marker came up on my routine 20-week u/s. In the end, things turned out fine and even though things at my level 2 u/s checked out okay, I never stopped worrying.

Wishing you the best.

Kelly Anne said...

I bet she's also seen lots of people come through her office with one marker who have perfectly healthy and "normal" babies.

I can't relate to the stress or worry you're feeling right now - but do know you have people out here reading, hoping for the best. I'll be saying some prayers for your family.

And I'm so excited to see Thing 2. :)

belseslaf said...

Toyfoto, I'll be thinking of you and hoping all goes well for you and the baby.

Sara G. said...

Wow. This is not the kind of post I wanted to find on your website today. Know that we are shocked and concerned right along with you. I can only imagine what you are feeling. I'm sure it is impossible, but I hope you can focus your thoughts on the sweet little smile you saw on the ultrasound screen and holding him in your arms a week from now--- and not what "may" be. We're thinking of you!

Andrea said...

Sometimes I think doctors and nurses should come with an accessory besides a stethoscope: duct tape. I thought they taught bedside manners classes at med school?!

Although I doubt there's ever an easy way to tell a patient potential bad news, there's a compassionate way, and that was not it.

Like Kelly Anne said: there are probably a lot of people through her office that have one marker for DS only to have "normal" babies.

Stats tell you nothing. Try not to think about the stats. I'm praying for you in my corner of the world.

Leeanthro said...

Can you have an amnio to rule out DS?

We had a level 2 ultrasound as well. The specialist gave us all sorts of stats and numbers. In the end we decided that we wouldn't do anything to change the pregnancy, so we didn't go for the amnio. But our chances of miscarriage were higher than the chances of DS.

Our newborn is now 4 weeks old. I'll be thinking of you. Hope the baby is happy and healthy!

it's me, Val said...

I am new to your blog but wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. ((hugs))

wordgirl said...

Thinking of you!! I've been a little out of it lately and I had no idea you were going through this. I'm hoping the best for all of you.