Saturday, September 20, 2008

From Day One

I was tired. More tired than I remember being the first time. More tired than I expected being.

Probably the loss of blood and the depletion of iron; anemia. I didn't care.

Everything was different the second time around. It was summer, not winter. The birth was scheduled, not an emergency. I was already a mother. This time I had more experience than my baby. I was having a boy. I was scared but ready.

It felt good. It felt natural. It felt amazing.

He was different, too. He seemed to soak up my experience and morph it into a warm blanket of security; confidence beyond his minutes. He became calm the moment he heard my voice, he latched painlessly right away. He slept in my arms.

He never made a sound as the nurses wheeled his bassinet into the room, saying "Mama, you have one HONGRY boy." But he never cried. I had to laugh as his wide open eyes looked my way through the clear plastic cot; mouth opening and closing like a prize fish.

My son. I never wanted to let him go. The nurses had to come and find him and take him back to their florescent lit lair for weigh-ins and check-ups. I often awoke to them clucking satisfied when they found us dozing together, and felt cool air hit the place his tiny form was keeping warm.

I remember the anxious waiting for the biggest introduction of my life; the moment big sister would meet little brother. It felt like days and crept by. She was crying with happiness when she looked at his tiny face, she begged to open his blanket so she could look at his hands.

"I love your baby, mama. He's so cute."

"You know ... he's your baby, too."

"I love my new baby!"

**Wishing you, Rebecca, and you, Kristin, all the best a new baby has to give. Peace. Joy. Hope


apathy lounge said...

Such a sweet story. Brings back good memories as so many of your words do (along with the pictures). I long for the days when everything moved slowly...and everything was geared to what was going on with my young kids. Though it's no less "about" them now, I find that I'm coming to a place where there's more time for me and the hubs as a couple and to rediscover where it all began. But I enjoy looking back as well.

Motherhood Uncensored said...

Like your previous commenter said, things seem to move so quickly. It's hard to keep up and stop to smell the sweet little heads.

Thanks so much for celebrating with us!

mamatulip said...

This is a lovely post.

Relentless Toil said...

You write so tenderly and so truly. This is really lovely. I sit here all glad to know you.

Ingrid said...

Man, life doesn't get much better than that right there. Your heart overflows more that you could ever imagine.