Tuesday, June 30, 2009

A different perspective

I recently had cause to use an old flash card, and later as I was downloading pictures I found a few of the kids that I'd never processed from just about a year ago.

There was one of Silas, at home, looking none-too-happy on a vintage tractor that once belonged to me (or probably more accurately my older sister) and now takes up a parking place at our house.

And there were a few in Vermont at a place we stopped for brunch before making our way to my aunt's house. Annabel was wearing her dance leotard and ladybug boots. She wanted a fruit plate with cottage cheese.

I snapped a picture as the waitress poured me a coffee.

Strange these little snapshots from the past.

I wonder how they were overlooked in the first place; then I wonder about all the moments that weren't overlooked.

And it brings me here, to this place, where I've dumped words and pictures for years thinking I was amassing some important archive of our lives.

But I end up thinking: "How much of this SHOULD be overlooked?"

I never really had my finger on the pulse of anything that's drawn readers ... what makes me think my own kids will one day find any of this interesting?

I don't know. Maybe I'm just tired and anxious about the move.

Writing such trivial points as the world goes to hell in a handbasket ... Iraq, Iran, Pakistan ... putting a green film over my icon on twitter seems hardly a solution.

Perhaps writing every day, while a good excercise in persistence, hasn't been good for my perspective.

I feel alone.

In a vast universe.

I know I'm probably not quitting this monster I've made any more than I'd walk away from my flesh and blood children. But I'm in need of a new point of view. I need some perspective. Because for as much as I was present when these pictures were taken, I'm beginning to understand that I was absent a reason to make them.


Kcoz said...

Iraq, Iran, Pakistan...Bad economy, Corporate thievery, Corrupt politicians...Missing and murdered children!

Stopping here and NOT reading about the problems of the world and sometimes even in one personal life is the reason I continue to return...it is a pleasurable escape from the horrors of the world to read your interpretation of everyday life and view the visual photo attachments.
I think you do a good job of this, better than other bloggers I have followed doing the same thing.

I can also watch the family growing process and NOT change one smelly diaper, deal with one tantrem, or be forced to consume one icky vegetable.


Anonymous said...

I too wonder about the gallons of photos I feel compelled to take and yet I am content with the handful I have from my own childhood. Seeing as the world revolves around me, you take pictures and post on your blog so that we can be friends ;) Does it bring you joy? Continue. If it doesn't, well it brings me joy so please continue.