Wednesday, February 22, 2006

CONFIDENTIAL MEMO ... (no peeking, moms).

To whomever it may concern ...
Originally uploaded by toyfoto.
23 February, 2006

Dearest Cousin Elliott,

Because you are kin and I love you dearly, and because you are getting around as a bi-ped now (no doubt on your way to the terrible TWOs), I thought I'd pass on a little of the "Support Staff Management" wisdom I've gathered in my TWO whole years on this planet. ...

REFUSE TO WEAR hats, sweaters or coats. It makes the support staff CRAZY.
Only allow your FAVORITE color of socks to be placed on your feet.

Don't EVER take your shoes off. I suggest wearing them to bed.

Another thing that makes the support staff nuts: LEAVING THAT LAST BITE OF FOOD ON YOUR PLATE. ... They will act rediculous in attempting to get you to eat it ... very entertaining.

Don't let your mommy put her hair up. EVER. Protest. Throw fits if you must. She looks better with it covering her face, so show her how to style it that way each time she tries to kiss you.

Use the POTTY once ... early on. ... AND NEVER AGAIN. Show them who's boss. Let them know you can do it, you just choose not to. PRICELESS.

HIDE YOUR FAVORITE TOY then cry about missing it before bedtime. This will add at least 15 minutes to the evening.

There's SO MUCH MORE for us to talk about, baby Elliott, but I won't overload you from the start. Just remember: It's so difficult to get good help these days, so go easy on them. Every once in a while giggle uncontrollably and give kisses when they least expect it ... they will forgive all and never call in sick. I just wanted you to have the very latest information at your disposal.

Much love and sloppy kisses,

PS. .. Speaking of disposals ... hide a dirty diaper when the support
staff isn't looking. The results will be HIGH-LARIOUS. ... I say no more.

1 comment:

christa said...

This is great! The part about the potty is so Henry. He loves to do things once -- I think just so we'll check 'em off the list and leave him alone already!