Tuesday, May 19, 2009


Every now and again I look down as I'm typing and I don't recognize my own hands.

I'm familiar with the tiny scar on the knuckle of my right ring finger, an accident from a summer job in my teenage years that could have been so much worse. You can barely see it now it's blended in with the folds of the skin.

I recognize the shapes of the fingertips; as I obsessively check them for curves and bulges that come with age. Was that always like that, I wonder? And then admit that it must have been.

There are now veins where I wanted them to be ... way back when I thought pronounced lines would make my hands look strong; less like they belonged on a portrait from the Middle Ages.

Now they are middled aged.

The skin of my hands is dryer; little lines more pronounced even as the overall appearance seems shiny under the right light. An odd combination.

They are showing their age; possibly moreso than even my face.

Sometimes I forget I'm not 20 ... until I look in the mirror.

And I remember.


Bill said...

It's funny you mention the veins...just yesterday my son (he's 2) and I were comparing hands. Of course the backs of his are so smooth, and mine are all veiny/tendony/whatevery. He was fascinated by what was going on with my hands, and I remembered being a kid wondering when I'd have grownup hands.

I guess I'm there.

toyfoto said...

That's it Bill: "Grownup hands" ... I suppose that's what I was looking for ... delicate, strong, grownup hands.

Strange how I didn't see them as "old hands" until now.

Mommy Project said...

I was looking at my own hands yesterday and I said to my hubby, "I should have worn sunscreen on my hands, too". I remember having sunburned hands a lot when I was younger (a lot from cycling, too, I think). I'd remember to protect my face (sometimes) but never my hands. They look so much older than me, now. Or, am I just kidding myself on that one? ;-)

jasi said...

It's funny you mention. It used to bother me so much when I was a child how my mother's skin on her hands would pull away a little, feel thinner and show lines. I didn't understand why it was different from my own and now my own hands are starting to show age. It's crazy how many signs I'm recognizing, memories of my mother.

toyfoto said...

Isn't it? Biology? Cosmetology? Hindsight? All of it, amazing and crazy and unsettling and reassuring all at once.

rkempe@gmail.com said...

Just be glad you don't see liver spots. Yet.

toyfoto said...

do bacon spots count?