History will come back to haunt you

... but what fun!

I know some of you are out there just shaking your heads thinking I'm sabotaging any and all future hope of an amicable relationship with my son by even TAKING pictures of him playing with Barbie, but really? I think my job as a parent is to teach him to be secure in himself DESPITE the embarassment he will have to endure from his stoopid parents.

I'm also advancing the fact that it happens to be a significant year for Barbie (having turned 50 and all) -- she finally has a reason for a midlife crisis: Her AARP card arrived at the Malibu Beach House.

Celebrate good times, Come. On.

OK? Moving on.

ROAD TRIP
History is some funny stuff. Find out how funny by getting into your car on Saturday and heading on down to the little village of Kinderhook, birthplace of such oddities as this great nation's 8th President, Martin Van Hairdo Buren, as well as the location where Washington Irving gathered some inspiration for his classic short story, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. You won't be disappointed even if you miss the comical (but welcoming) bronze statue of VanBuren or you miss out on seeing the old school house where the fabled Icabod Crane's real-life counterpart taught. Not only will the Kindercrafter Festival (also dubbed the Olde Kinderhook Fair) be in full swing with crafters, art exhibits, food, music, games for the kids and a host of unique vendors, but if you get there before 1 p.m. you will see a real live, re-enacted, civil war muster. Free. For information, visit The Kinderhook Connection.

SAVOR THE FLAVOR
You may have gotten a taste for all things Greek from watching My Big, Fat Greek Wedding, but you probably won't find any Windex at St. Basil's as it hosts its 15th annual Greek Festival this weekend, Saturday from noon to 8 p.m. and Sunday from noon to 5 p.m. This is a seriouse celebration of Greek food and culture features music by the Aegeans, a Greek bazaar, kids' rides, the St. Basil Youth Dance Group, "Never on Sunday" ice cream, church tours, a $10,000 raffle and Sytaki Dance. And if you come for the food, you can find loukoumathes, lamb with potatoes, baklava, spanakopita, souvlaki, moussaka, breads and cookies and more. For more information, visit St. Basil's Web site.

MURDER? MAYHEM?
Looking for a dash or murder and mayhem? The Rensselaer County Historical Society may have the walking tour for you. Join them at 10:30 a.m. on Saturday at 57 Second Street in Troy, and listen as you walk to its presentation: "To Protect and Serve" - Firehouses, church bells, and night constables. The walking tour focuses on the colorful history of Troy's municipal police and fire departments, from their volunteer origins to today's public servants. Cost is $5, members free. Call 272-7232 for more information.

HISTORY ROCKS
... the boat. What? It does. Paddle on down to Rensselaer's Fort Crailo Historic Site on Sunday and check out the first in a series of programs featuring Native America History. Barry Keegan, who has been making dugout canoes since 1993, will demonstrate making the type of vessel and display portable scale models at the riverside park.He will also explain and display the stone tool artifacts used to design these canoes. Admission is free. The program runs from noon to 4 p.m. Visit Fort Crailo for more information.

PLAN AHEAD
Question: School is coming to a close ... what are you going to do with the kids?
Olana has a GREAT answer: The Journey, Olana's Summer Arts Program for children ages 6 to 12. Registration is going on now for the two, week-long sessions. Session One runs July 13-17; Session Two runs August 3-7, both sessions are from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. on all days. The cost, at $165 per week ($125 for Olana members) is less than daycare and will expose your kids to one America's great transendental painters, Frederic Edwin Church. Kids will journey to one of the locales visited by the renowned Hudson River School painter and, through art, music, poetry, nature walks and other hands-on activies, experience the home, life and travels of the landmark landscape painter. For more information, visit Olana's Web site. Registration forms for the July program available here.