What are they trying to sell me?

sleeping in daddy's lap, originally uploaded by toyfoto.

We don't watch a lot of network television.

It's not because we believe it will rot our minds or turn our babies into degenerates, it's merely because we really can't stand the shows within the shows; commericials.

Since we're usually pretty adept at getting our snacks BEFORE most programs begin, and our bladders can handle excess beverages for the two hours it takes to watch most movies, we don't need to partake of the only true benefit offered by a commercial's thirty-second reprieve.

That's not to say we don't watch our heaping American portions of television. We watch HBO and public television. We watch Discover and the Sundance Channel. We watch the Independent Film Channel and we have a library of childrens movies, enough for hours of viewing bliss.

But last night, for the first time in I don't know how long, we suffered through countless commercials for ABS's offering of "The Incredibles." Why? I don't know. But it was amusing, nonetheless, to sit on the couch next to Ittybit and her father and listen to the lesson he tried to impart.

ITTYBIT: "DADDY!!! Please get my cartoon back. The news is on. I DON'T like the news. It's only for GROWNUPS."

DADDY: "That's not the news. That's a commercial. It's how most television networks pay for programing. They are trying to sell us things we don't need."

ITTYBIT: "Is my cartoon coming back?"

DADDY: "Yes, but first we have to wait through these things and try and figure out what they're trying to sell us. See, here, this is an ad for McDonald's. They're trying to sell us expensive foods that they are masquerading as good for you. But look ... they're dipping them in sauce, which is high in sugar and calories. ..."

ITTYBIT: "What is this one trying to sell me?"

DADDY: "Well this is trying to sell you toys."

ITTYBIT: "What is this one trying to sell me?"

DADDY: "Toaster strudels ... more junk food."

ITTYBIT: "What is this one trying to sell me?"

DADDY: "Well ... this is trying to get me to go see a film in the theater ... hey ... I actually want to see that one ..."

MOMMY: "Daddy bought that one."

DADDY: "I did NOT. I just want to see that movie."

MOMMY: "How do you know you want to see it?"

DADDY: "I. ... Uh ... Oh, I know. ... I saw the trailer at the theater the last time we went to the movies."

MOMMY: "See? Marketing."

ITTYBIT: "Ok. Shhhhh. The cartoon is back."