Speaking my peace

I bet you thought I was ignoring the election, didn't you? You thought I was just sitting behind my keyboard typing away, blissfully unaware of the economy and the people exploiting it to get to higher office. I'm just a woman of little consequence, blathering on about too many toys, or naughty words that come out of my kid's mouth with just the exact same timber and tone as they come out of mine. Politics isn't my purview.

Ah well. You know I'm not perfect.

By the same token, you also probably know that I do more than gaze lovingly at the photocopied photographs of my darling children that are taped to the central processing unit of my tower-style computer as I wrack my brain for topics to write about whilst I'm at the office. Mostly I just search the Internet for pictures Sen. McCain's VeeP in a bikini or for possible explanations for why Sen. Obama voted for FISA. Sometimes I look up definitions of words I don't know. (There are a LOT of words I don't know). I can admit it, much happens in the world that this here space ignores.

So I thought I'd rectify the whole AVOIDING the thing that passes as news rant once and for all (until November) and describe -- in painful detail -- the 800 lb. gorilla sitting in the overstuffed chair to my right.

Let's take a gander at the state of the economy, shall we?

I'm not worried despite the fact that I own some securities.

I checked them.

They seem to be on vacation. The Aussies would call it "on walkabout."

I figure they WILL probably come back and pay me a visit near about the year 3,000 when the corpse that was my body is finally offered a chance to retire. I'm also not so worried about the often predicted Great Depression (version 2.0). Why, you ask? Well, because we here in the first part of the 21st century have excellent pharmecology for such ailments. With Prozac and Welbutrin we will only be looking at a slightly Sad Feeling at best or a Lingering Malaise at worst. (Of course it will cost a zillion dollars for a month's supply of the stuff, but the government will be printing cash for us by the wheelbarrow full or adding it to the water supply) We'll be OK.

The election seems like a farce to some (college educated) folks watching. I believe this is mostly the result of the influence of Sarah Palin.

Let's talk about the Republican's vice presidential candidate, shall we? First and most importantly: I know that wasn't her in the bikini! Tina Fey said, and I believe, they were pasting Palin's head on other people's bodies and Palin didn't like it.

I don't really mind. There are worse indignities.

And that stuff about her abusing her power?

Pshhhhhaw.

She's too smart for that; she's absolutely right that some moose-shooting, snow machine driving, no-good former brother-in-law shouldn't be representing for the home team. She was top dawg, and if your power can't get you stuff why have it? I'd do the same thing if I were her. Protect (my own) and serve (myself). I'm not proud.

Of course, I'm not suppose to be impartial. ... or am I?

Moving on.

Really, I am enjoying the spin. Ms. Palin is standing behind her "lawful" firing of a public safety commissioner who wouldn't reassign or fire her ex-brother-in-law because, and as Alaska law allows, she could have had him fired for wearing a mismatched tie to work if she wanted to.

What ACTUALLY went on in the office - so long as she's not stealing money - should be of no interest to anyone. And the partisan politics, even in the non-partisan investigation, was to blame not her actions. Because really? Politically motivated and politically embarrassing are the same thing, right?

She invites you to READ the report and judge for yourself. It's all there. You'll see. Of course it's long and it takes forever to load. ... You could probably get a better understanding from FOX News. They're fair and balanced unlike the mainstream media that keeps asking rude questions.

And don't you know, bald-faced lies ARE the new truth.

Hey, Joe Six Pack! You shouldn't care if the veep brings her family fued into the governor's mansion anyway, nor should you mind if she brings it all the way to the White House. You're ass is covered because she winks and says Maverick a lot. She's just like you. You wouldn't want a jerk who was once married to your sister, and fathered her children, to pull some cushy detail at the state fair dressed as a safety mascot either. You've got your standards.

And besides, character flaws only matter when one has got a (D) after their name or if you happen to have a name the Good 'ol Boys can't pronounce. We're all human. ... except for people who don't belong to the Church of What's Happening Now, They're going to hell, poor things.

So let's continue calling Mr. Obama a "Mooslim" why don't we? Let's perpetuate that myth, too. We're all good Christians. And Christ would probably think that was fine. Christ is all about fear and loathing. Let's roil the unwashed masses, and stoke the fire of hatred. When the polls start to show we're slipping even further, let's pay lip service to the idea that such talk is unacceptable. But make no mistake, the people who WILL elect us do not speak well of this "(Shining) City on the Hill."

Of course, John Winthrop's meaning of that turn of phrase in his 1630 sermon (which Reagan bastardized) was probably meant as a warning not as a source of pride. But who cares? "The eyes of all people are upon us." Let's just reapply our lipstick.